When Aiden Became a Brother

I have read a lot of picture books and I can confidently say that excellent children’s literature is few and far between. Many authors seem to have trouble striking a balance between simple and condescending, between educational and boring, between entertaining and pull-your-hair-out annoying. When Aiden Became a Brother, written by Kyle Lukoff and illustrated by Kaylani Juanita, doesn’t suffer from any of these problems. The book was published in 2019 by Lee & Low, an independent publisher known for works by unpublished authors and illustrators of color. It follows a young transgender boy who, after fixing the parts of his life that didn’t fit, eagerly anticipates the arrival of a younger sibling. He is determined to rise to the role of big brother and to ensure that the new baby always feels loved and understood. Heartwarming and expertly handled, When Aiden Became a Brother is an anti-biased and outstanding children’s book that is entirely one-of-a-kind.

Kyle Lukoff, the author of When Aiden Became a Brother is a transgender man writing from his own experience, which enhances the book and may have assisted him in avoiding some of the common pitfalls frequently present in books, especially children’s books, with trans characters. Throughout the course of the book, Lukoff never misgenders or deadnames Aiden and avoids using phrases like “used to be a girl” that are often employed when trying to explain trans people to young kids, instead opting for “everyone thought that he was a girl”. Lukoff also does not equate a dislike for stereotypically feminine clothing and hobbies to being trans and subsequently does not enforce the gender binary that follows that line of reasoning. Lukoff states, “Everyone thought he was just a different kind of girl…Lots of girls didn’t wear dresses. But Aiden didn’t feel like any kind of girl. He was really another kind of boy.” The text highlights that there is more than one way to be a person of any gender. The illustrator of When Aiden Became a Brother is Kaylani Juanita, a “mixed race queer femme”, who’s digital art beautifully captures Aiden, also a mixed race person, his Black mother and South Asian father, and their extended family. With both the author and the illustrator drawing from their own experiences and identities, When Aiden Became a Brother portrays the communities it represents with compassion and care.

Another aspect of this book that pulls it to children’s literature greatness is the agency and empowerment given to its protagonist, Aiden. The main character is a human child who drives the plot and is consistently listened to by the adults around him who work with him to create change. Aiden’s parents accept his coming out and help him find clothes and a name that suit him, but Aiden plays the most active role in the story, from telling his parents who he is to driving the plot through his desire to ensure that his sibling never feels misunderstood or out of place the way he had. While running errands in preparation for the new baby, Aiden’s family is confronted with very gendered questions and comments regarding the addition to their family. Having learned from their son’s transgender identity, Aiden’s parents redirect and rephrase their answers in a way that does not enforce a gender binary. When asked if she is having a boy or a girl, Aiden’s mom simply replies that she’s having a baby. While wider society may not have adjusted to this type of thinking, Aiden’s presence in his parents’ lives has changed the way his parents see and speak and they will advocate with him for a world where his sibling will be accepted, no matter who they grow up to be. At the end of the book, when Aiden expresses to his parents his fears that he will get things wrong with his new sibling his mother reminds him that because they hadn’t known Aiden was going to be their son, she and his father had made mistakes with Aiden, but Aiden had helped them correct the missteps. Aiden realizes that knowing how to love someone is the most important part of being a brother. The message of the book emphasises unconditional love and being open to learning over being perfect or always getting things right, a vital message for both children and parents.